Why I Race

With a few of my friends out of medical leave due to crashes at the track, I have spent a good deal of time lately exploring why is it that I race bikes?  It's completely irrational.  I don't have any realistic hope of making money at this.  I have tremendous risk every time I mount the bike.  The costs are through the roof.  Why then do I do this? 

Initially there was quite a bit of, "oh wow, check out how awesome I am right now" but honestly most of that is gone.  The week before each race, I get a quiet tremble of fear.  Fear of injury, yes.  But also a fear of the pending visceral competition I'm about to partake in.  It is a very "bro'd up" thing to do.  Loud motors revving to 14,000 RPM, the smell of race fuel and rubber burning, looking at the guy gridded next to you wondering, "is that fool going to ride safely or is he going to take me out trying some crazy move?"  Overcoming that fear and putting myself on the line - for better or for worse - head to head against some pretty great riders - that's certainly part of the motivation to do this.

There is also an internal confidence that comes of it.  I went out for drinks for a friends birthday the other night at a fancy bar in the Marina.  I laughed to myself when I got there - realizing I had spent literally less than 10 seconds wondering what I was going to wear, and feeling 100% comfortable among all the good-looking-people in their just-came-from work outfits; wearing a ball cap and a plain black tee-shirt with tattoos poking out.  I didn't very well fit in, but internally I felt completely comfortable in my space.  Some of that has to come from knowing I regularly do something most people couldn't put themselves up for.

Also the camaraderie is one of the big things I get out of this.  Fellow racers would easily loan each other parts, show each other how to get faster (even guys you're competing with), rush to the aid of a fellow racer who's in trouble, and win or lose - high five the guys you just raced with when it's over.  It's a great feeling.  One of my racer buddies and I were talking about this recently - after a weekend racing you have a feeling for a couple of days that's unlike anything else.  Like you took a trip to a magic place where none of the rest of the world even existed.  While there you completely put yourself on the line, mentally, physically and emotionally pitted yourself against yourself (and others).  It's like the sense of accomplishment from having climbed a mountain or done something that required all of yourself present to do.